Opened Wounds
by SirIntegrity
Summary: When her mother appears out of the blue, Integra must come to terms with a hurt she thought long healed and deal with her basic principles and beliefs being challenged.
1. Chapter 1

Claimer: I own Christiana, her two kids, and her second husband. Besides that, everything goes to Hellsing's creator. Oh how I worship him for bringing Integra and Alucard into this world.

"Come on, Teggie, we've got to hurry," the woman's voice shook. A girl scarcely older than three glared exasperatedly up at her, but obliged her request.

The train was late. The sun was going down. Arthur would be back home from his meeting any minute. These three facts ran on tracks like the one they were racing along, heading to collide with one another in a tremendous crash. They had to get on this train, Arthur had to accept her bogus note that she was taking Integra to a movie, and they had to be clear out of London by nightfall.

She felt bad for her daughter as the girl tried her best to keep up. Her backpack wasn't light, threatening to take her down with it with every sway, and her legs were tiny. In her free arm, the one Christiana wasn't dragging her by, she held her favorite stuffed animal close to her. A well-loved black lab pup, Integra had taken a marker and scribbled its marble eyes red.

She had heard Integra giggling when she was supposed to be sound asleep. She had gone in to check on her, to tell her to calm down… But then…

Good. The train was pulling in as they came to the station. She fished the tickets out of her coat's pocket, her clothes personally tailored to her. She had never minded being the wife of a government official, even if it meant days going by without seeing her husband. She had been brought up silver spoon in hand and knew her place (even in the present, nobility still stuck to old traditions when they married internally). She had never cared to ask about the specifics of his work, just that it was military.

Integra let go of her mother's hand, loosening her hold on her pet. She began petting it reassuringly, babbling casually in that primarily self-indulgent toddler way. Christiana wanted to grab that blasted thing and throw it as far away as she could.

She hadn't been prepared to see anyone else in Integra's nursery the other night. Least of all a tall, rail-thin "man" with silver hair hanging in his sunken face, sitting cross-legged on her bed. Both of its hands were holding Integra's arms as she thrashed around, kicking and muffledly screaming. At first she thought it was fear; in hindsight she saw that it was in irritation that the monster wouldn't let her go. Christiana had gasped and the creature had turned towards her, his red eyes glowing in the dim light.

Integra had taken advantage of that opportunity, slipped one of her hands free, and had given him a hard hit to the nose. He didn't even flinch, staring at Christiana as she screamed bloody murder.

She closed her eyes, trying to drive back the memory. Arthur hadn't taken it as seriously as she thought a father should. Sure, he had disciplined the creature, but he repeatedly assured her that this…vampire couldn't harm either her or Integra, especially Integra.

Didn't matter. There was a half-starved vampire living in their basement and too many lies by omission to stomach.

The train had barely finished unloading its passengers before Christiana started towards the coach. An employee barred her path.

"First-class boarding first, ma'am."

"I know, but we've got a bit of an emergency," she glanced towards the sunset. He smirked.

"Don't we all?"

Integra decided she was done wearing her overcoat, shrugging it off. Her short-sleeved summer dress exposed her tanned arms, ugly finger-shaped bruises standing out. The employee's eyes widened.

"I see. Go ahead."

She wanted to correct his assumption. Arthur would die before beating his little angel. As much as she'd love to blame the monster, he hadn't left a single mark on Integra. No, it was actually Walter. She remembered watching him restrain her, his face twisted in effort as he kept his vice hold on her. She screamed, she wailed, she threw herself around like she was possessed, all in an attempt to escape and run down the hall to plead on behalf of her "pet".

Even Walter, the kindly butler, had defended the fiend, saying that he was probably curious about his little master. All they had been doing was "playing".

Playing…right. Maybe to Integra.

They boarded the train and Christiana let Integra pick their seats. She helped herself to the window facing the station before setting her companion in the seat beside her. Christiana went to move him into Integra's lap.

"No!" Integra said venomously, making Christiana jump. Integra set the dog upright, "Card's seat," she insisted.

They had all chalked it up to some imaginary friend she had created; the talking to thin air, the way she spoke about him to others, the cookie jar that had mysteriously floated down from the top of the fridge into her grasp. Card… How the hell had neither Arthur nor Walter picked up on that?

She put her things on the seat across from Integra before crouching down in front of her.

"Mummy's going to go see what's at the snack bar, alright? Is there anything you want, hmmm?" Integra considered it a moment.

"…ap' juice."

"Alright, I'll be right back."

Integra cleared her throat. Christiana stared at her. She tilted her head towards Card. Christiana sighed.

"And what would Card like?" Integra consulted with him briefly before answering.

"B'ood." Of course.

"I'll be right back. Stay here, okay?" She kissed Integra's forehead, "I love you, baby."

She straightened and turned away.

"Where Daddy?" Integra asked. Christiana sighed.

"Daddy's…not coming with us. It's a vacation, just for mum-and-daughter," she explained.

"An' Card?"

"…and Card."

Not looking too satisfied with her answer, she turned towards the window, staring out at the platform. Christiana briskly walked towards the dining cart, glancing back at Integra every so often to make sure she didn't go anywhere.

She was insanely intelligent for a three-year-old…but she was still a three-year-old nonetheless. Hopefully she'd get over this phase soon and forget all about Card. They could start fresh in the states, unmolested by talk of vampires or the undead. She glanced out the window. There was still some light on the horizon, and the train was about to depart.

Hopefully red Kool-Aid would satiated the bloodthirsty puppy, Christiana mused as she made her way back to her seat.

"CARD!" She heard Integra shout gleefully. She felt the embarrassment of a mother, praying that the other passengers would understand if her child's imagination ran a little wild.

She returned to the cart, Card slumped down in his new seat next to the window. Integra was nowhere to be seen.

"Integra!" She dropped the beverages and snacks as she caught sight of a small heel disappearing around a corner.

Employees were yelling, grabbing for the girl or the door that had been flung open on its own.

The scene suddenly moved in slow motion as Christiana caught up with her. Integra's long blonde hair billowed in the wind as the train started to pick up speed, grinning and watching the platform. A man followed alongside the tracks, his silver hair hiding all but those demonic eyes. He extended his spidery arms towards her.

"Jump, Integra!" He shouted over the noise of the train.

"NO!"

Christiana reached, feeling for an instant her only child's soft, warm skin before she lurched away, vaulting herself off the train and towards the vampire's waiting arms.

"INTEGRA!"

A vision of her precious baby's skull splitting as she fell on the concrete crossed her mind as she watched her fly through the air, seeming to just drift in the gap like dust in the light. Then, with almost practiced ease, she slipped into his arms, which hardly bowed under the weight.

"INTEGRA!"

But the pair were already slipping away as the train continued, unaware of the lost passenger. Christiana bolted to the next cart, sprinting through as her eyes watched the windows for a glimpse of Integra.

She didn't know how many carts it took, nor how many stares she received as she screamed bloody horror. But eventually she ran out of carts, throwing open the door to the caboose.

Integra's eyes were still looking for her as she ran into the railing.

"INTEGRA!"

Her gaze locked on her mother, leaning over the edge of the railing and looking half mad. She beamed, waving happily to her.

"Bye bye, mummy!"

Christiana continued to scream at the top of her lungs. Her little one was cradled in his arms, resting on one hip. Those red glowing eyes and smirk taunted her, lording over her the fact that he had caught her in the act and had corrected her by taking away the only thing that ever meant anything.

Integra had one arm holding onto his shoulder, the other waving enthusiastically at her screeching mother. The platform was disappearing quickly, and there was nothing Christiana could do about it.

The train whistle wailed, drowning out the sounds of her sobs. Integra straightened up, looking as happy as a clam in her ignorance.

"CHOO CHOO!" She responded to the rushing train.

**Twenty Years Later**

"She wears high heels, I wear sneee-kers. She's cheer capt'n and I'm on the bleeeachers~"

Seras knew what was to blame for her cheery mood, even if she didn't want to admit it. Drinking microwaved donated blood was still too macabre for her pleasure, but the side effects weren't too bad.

She strolled out of the Hellsing mansion, pausing at the steps. She'd best them this time… With a grunt and a great deal of concentration, she managed to make herself float over the stairs and onto the sidewalk. She smirked in satisfaction. Improvement, but still nothing to gloat to Master about. She practiced a few more times on her flitting (he called it hovering, but that sounded a bit sinister for lazy flying), not noticing the taxi cab slow down and stop in front of Hellsing's gates. Nor did she notice the woman step out, staring up at the mansion with trepidation.

Oh god, she was running late. She scooped up her Harkonnen case with ease, swinging it as easily as a purse as she jogged towards the training fields.

She glanced up and stopped at the gates, curiously staring at the woman.

"Hello there. Can I help you?" She asked.

She glanced into Seras's eyes. Suddenly, the powerful stench of fear came off of her, making Seras's eyes widen in surprise. Usually guests were either used to the unorthodox employees or didn't know any better. Her voice quivered as she spoke.

"…Teggie?" She asked.

Seras stared at her a minute as she tried to remember a "Teggie"…oh! She wanted to burst out laughing.

"Oh, no, I'm Officer Victoria. Sir Integra's up in her office most likely." That had to be the only time that she had ever been mistaken for her boss… "Should I tell Walter that someone's here to see her?"

"Walter?" The woman smirked, "He's still around, is he? I thought the good died young…"

Seras took a harder look at her. She was of average height, impeccably dressed in a black overcoat and a long wine-colored skirt. Her boots had a small heel to them and her hands were dressed in white gloves, holding a rather large purse. A black hat leaned to one side, her platinum blonde hair pulled up in a bun. Her skin was darker than an average Englishwoman.

Though she wouldn't look her in the eyes after the initial contact, Seras didn't need to look at them again. Behind circular gold-framed glasses, large startling blue eyes gazed out. Eyes that reminded Seras quite a bit of her master's master.

**III**

"Choo choo," Alucard drolled, having his makeshift pen train crash into Integra's arm.

Glancing at him from behind his own sunglasses, Integra suppressed a sigh. A decade of Alucard had taught her a lot of survival tactics to help deal with his eccentricity. Like any immortal creature who had plenty of free time and plenty of restrictions, he got bored and restless. Regardless of whether or not she was up to her neck in paperwork, he reasoned that her responsibility as his master included keeping him entertained.

Thank god she wasn't busy.

"Could you kindly get off my desk so I can ignore you properly?"

"No. Your pet is feeling neglected."

"I'll show you "neglected" if you don't get your ass off of this desk."

Integra supposed she had the option of simply shoving him off. Two things tended to occur with that action; one, Alucard would choose to be very dense so as to have her put all her strength into trying to get him to move or two, he'd choose to have minimal density, falling off the desk and scattering whatever was on top onto the ground with him. Considering her thousand dollar laptop, cup of hot tea, and irreplaceable top secret documents were all either under or around him, she decided not to brave it.

His hat slid down to her eyebrows, and his sunglasses made the room look like the dead of night, both gifts he had placed on her early in his visit. He was laying face-up, legs casually crossed and hands folded on his stomach. There was a permanent smirk on his face, his eyes watching her reactions in amusement.

"You're absolutely adorable when you threaten, do you realize this?"

"I try not to be. This is why I let you get Seras, so you don't have to bother me whenever the mood strikes you."

"Ah, but Seras doesn't hold a candle to you loosing that carefully kept cool exterior… It's like watching a bath robe fall from the delicate frame of an untouched vir-"

"Keep your metaphors to yourself, you old pervert."

"I almost finished that one. I think you're starting to warm up to my bedroom talk."

Before she could respond, the phone rang. Alucard had answered it before her hand even twitched to reach for it.

"Hello? …yes, she's here… I don't know, _should_ I let you talk to her?" She ripped the phone out of his hand.

"Excuse him," she grumbled.

There was no quip about Alucard's behavior, no brief narrative about how he hadn't changed a bit since the Second World War. Walter's voice was unusually cold and serious.

"Miss Integra, someone's here to see you."

"Who?"

"…Christiana Wingates."

Alucard's demeanor changed instantly. He jerked up to a sitting position, lips curled back and muscles tensed. Integra leaned back, feeling a twinge of fear at his reaction to the name.

That look, that searing anger that burst from the very core of his being, was rare. Whoever garnered that response from Alucard should pray for their very souls before he killed them where they stood.

"A relative?" Integra asked. Alucard's fingers dug into his knees. Walter sighed.

"Yes. She's your…mother."

"My mother?" Integra furrowed her eyebrows, "You told me my mother died."

"I thought she might as well have been," he responded coolly.

**III**

Because I know some anal fan's going to go say this: "OMGWTFSTFU ALUCARD WAZ IN DEH BASEMENT FUR TWENTY YEARS, DIS STORY IS IMPOSSIBRU!"

My response: "Chill out, it's called an AU. I took a bit of creative license. If you wait around, I'll explain it a bit in a later chapter. If you're still sore, don't bitch to me about it in a review." Even if the majority of my OOC argument about writing against this canon information is "but it would be so cute if she was this little and thought he was an imaginary friend"…

So yeah, I hope I'm not throwing too many people off this early. Also, Random Thought of the Chapter: Crispin Freeman should do a sex line pretending to be Alucard… Because I would pay good money for Alucard to talk dirty to me.


	2. Chapter 2

Claimer: I own Christiana, her two kids, and her second husband. Besides that, everything goes to Hellsing's creator. Oh how I worship him for bringing Hellsing into this world.

Integra slid open a drawer, checked to make sure her revolver was off safety, and hid it within arm's reach. She wasn't sure what to expect to come through that door, but she wouldn't let history repeat itself about relatives she didn't actually have…

Soft footsteps came down the hall and then a timid knock at the door.

"Come in," Integra instructed.

Integra stared as Christiana walked into the office. Not because of how much she looked like her, even for being her mother. Not because of the familiarity she seemed to have with the room, or the tender expression in her eyes as she looked at her daughter after two decades. No, Integra stared because she was utterly baffled by the woman walking in and not even flinching as Alucard glared at her from behind the door, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. Even if she didn't look behind the door, most people would have at least sensed his presence. Was her mother oblivious?

Christiana took off her hat. Integra stood.

"My little Teggie…" She murmured, smiling reminiscently as her eyes looked over her form, "You've grown so much."

"Yes, that does seem to happen to little girls when they become women," Integra murmured, glancing over her mother. Christiana turned her head away, her gloved hands fidgeting with her purse.

"…how's your father?"

"Dead," her head whipped back around, staring at Integra.

"I'm so sorry. How about your Uncle Richard?"

"He's dead too." Integra got a sick jolt of pleasure as Christiana went pale, looking nauseous, "Don't worry; both of their passings were quite painful and premature."

"Integra," she growled. Integra smirked, daring her to reprimand her as though she was really, truly her mother.

Christiana sighed; her heels echoing as she slowly approached the desk. She reached a hand out, brushing the edge of the desk with a mix of recollection and disgust.

"…I suppose that makes you the head of the Hellsing Organization now, doesn't it?"

"I suppose so," she replied venomously, "At least, that's what I thought I inherited when I was twelve years old."

Christiana stared into her eyes, her own wide and her mouth slightly agape.

"How…?"

"The story isn't for strangers. Now, is there something you came here for?" Christiana continued to stare at Integra, in shock and amazement.

"What happened to the little girl I used to tuck into bed…?"

"You left her. At the train station. Twenty years ago," Alucard spoke up, floating upright and walking towards the pair.

The change in the former Lady Hellsing's demeanor was instantaneous. She whirled around, tensed up like a rabbit catching wind of a fox. Her hands trembled and her breathing became unsteady, her eyes wide as saucers in the wake of the nosferatu. There was no doubt in Integra's mind that Christiana knew exactly what Alucard was, maybe even to the extent that she herself did.

"…Card," she choked out.

"Christiana," he said crisply.

He took his sunglasses off, watching his own long fingers play with them.

"I will say my piece, and then take my leave," he promised Integra, looking back up at Christiana, "It has always been that coming between a mother and her child equals death. A true mother will do anything to nurture and protect their offspring, past the point of fathers or even spouses. I've seen women fight packs of wolves with their bare hands, and win, to save their babes. Such is the purity of that bond's love."

His sunglasses stopped mid-rotation.

"There is no excuse for what you did. You could've jumped off that train; you could've forced the conductor to stop. Hell, you could've even come back for her the next day; it's not like you didn't know where she was! But no, you chose to look after yourself and your own interests; to hell with your husband or daughter. You were suddenly aware of the flames of demons all around you, and you couldn't stand the heat. And so we all suffered for your cowardice."

Alucard paused for a minute, looking curiously at her. He gave a curt laugh.

"No, I'm not accusing you of not loving your daughter," he assured her thoughts, slipping his glasses on. A black hole formed and Alucard stepped inside, "I'm accusing you of loving yourself more."

The tear and Alucard soon vanished, leaving a shaking Christiana and a stunned Integra in its wake. After a moment, she sighed, picking up the phone.

"I'll have Walter put on some tea…"

**III**

"What's he doing out of the basement?" Her voice quivered as she spoke. Integra shrugged, leaning back in her seat.

"Lurking around, being mysterious… I don't pay much attention to what he does in his free time as long as I don't hear screaming."

"You know what I mean."

It was a little late for tea, but adding alcohol to the equation was just asking for trouble. They sat across from each other in the parlor, each sipping from their cup in turn. Walter stood nearby, present but detached. He hadn't said a word or looked at Christiana in Integra's presence. A foreboding nagged at her; Walter and Alucard's negative reactions set her on edge and made it impossible to be unbiased.

Christiana crossed her legs, her free hand clutching the arm of the chair. She sat up rigidly, glancing every so often at the door. Integra leaned back in her seat, one leg resting over the other.

"If we have such a weapon, why not use it? He was doing no one any good rotting away in the basement."

"He was doing plenty of good not running around and unsettling everyone," she insisted, the shake still in her voice. Integra met her eyes.

"…how do you even know about Alucard? He was chained in the basement long before you and father were married," Christiana looked in danger of throwing up.

"He didn't stay in the basement," she grumbled.

Integra's eyebrows raised and she glanced at Walter. Walter avoided her.

"What do you mean?" Christiana took a deep breath before speaking.

"I heard you giggling one night… You were supposed to be asleep… I came in to tell you to settle down," she closed her eyes, looking as though she was reliving the memory right in front of Integra, "I thought it was a man at first, Walter maybe, but he was so tall and jagged, long gray hair…"

Christiana's knuckles turned white as her fingers dug into the arm of the chair. The tea was in danger of splashing out of the trembling cup.

"He had a grip on your arm and you were struggling against him, kicking, punching… I screamed. Then he turned to look at me…his eyes glowing and _red_."

Integra stared, incredulous. Alucard…in her bedroom… When she was little? Doing what? Shouldn't she remember something like this? Shouldn't it have come up at some point? How…?

"It was just a game; she was laughing for Christ's sake," Walter spoke up, his voice cool, "As all three of us tried to explain numerous times, _he could not have hurt her_, even if he wanted to."

"That's no excuse for him being around her in the first place," Christiana grumbled.

"And that's no excuse for leaving your family," Integra responded icily.

She finished off her tea, setting it aside.

"I asked about you a few times, you know," she said offhandedly, "Father and Walter insisted you died. As you're probably aware of there aren't too many women around, and none I could really confide in. So I taught myself what I could, with books and movies and such. What I couldn't answer, I kept to myself, because I remembered how hard it was for Father to try and help… How the strongest man I had ever known crumbled at the question of where babies came from," she shook her head in disgust, "Do you have _any_ idea how humiliating it is to go bra shopping with your butler?"

Integra realized her voice had been steadily getting louder, her teeth clenched as if to bear them at the woman who so casually waltzed into her life. Christiana stuttered in an attempt to answer, refute, whatever she was going to do, but failed. Integra rose to her feet, her fists trembling at how tightly shut they were.

"Where were you when I needed someone to tell me it was alright when the Round Table questioned everything that came out of a little girl's mouth? Where were you when I needed advice about the butterflies in my stomach, to sympathize with my feminine issues, to not judge me when my strategies had my soldiers buried six feet under or worse? Where were you when I needed a shoulder to cry on when they were laying my father in the ground? Where the hell were you when I was _running for my life_ from my _uncle_ down to a basement where my only hope was a shriveled-up corpse?" She was shouting now, almost loud enough for the entire mansion to hear her.

Something hot and wet burned underneath her eyes. She spun around on her heels and stormed away, furious at Christiana, at her father…at herself. She wiped quickly at her eyes before she left the pair of them behind.

**III**

It wasn't often Integra indulged in an early night, but she couldn't force herself back into the office. She didn't want to talk to anyone more tonight; not Walter, not Seras, and especially not that woman who had the gall to call herself her mother.

So she dawned her sleepwear, curled up underneath her covers, and allowed herself a luxury she hadn't afforded in years; she let herself cry.

Once she had wept until she was satisfied, her stomach hit the floor. Someone had been watching her juvenile display. She jerked into a sitting position, her right hand slipping underneath her pillow. Even with her glasses off, she recognized the figure in the chair in the corner. A black mop of hair and slightly glowing red eyes, she squinted to try and read his expression.

"How long have you been there?" She hissed.

"Awhile."

She looked him over. His legs were crossed, but his body was leaning slightly forward, as if he had been listening to her. Listening to what, though? Her blubbering like an idiot? She wiped at her eyes and straightened.

"It's ridiculous, I know, suddenly caring about an absence I hardly noticed," he shook his head.

"Not really. Wounds reopen if they aren't properly treated the first time," he stood up, walking slowly towards her bed, head bowed.

Integra drew her legs underneath her, gesturing permission for him to sit at the end.

"Why did you lie about the basement?"

"I didn't lie about my imprisonment; what I said was I hadn't had blood in twenty years. You jumped to conclusions," he laid out at the foot of the bed, lounging on his side, "It was _heavily_ suggested I stay in the basement or there would be hell to pay; I wasn't ordered."

"Minced words," she remarked. He shrugged.

"Yes," he admitted, "But like most pets, I was curious about the new arrival."

Integra picked at her blanket, averting her eyes from him.

"So…we played."

"All the time," he murmured, "I was the imaginary friend they didn't realize was real. We were a pretty good team, defying Walter, getting into trouble… Of course, things changed a bit when you figured out you could boss me around. What Christiana didn't include in her dramatic narrative was the fact you were beating me up before she came in. It was pathetic what I did for you."

She glanced at him. There was something guarded about him, yet oddly sentimental. The mention of her power over him brought her back to reality. Alucard was her servant; she was his master. That was the bottom line. She folded her hands on her lap.

"I need you to be on your best behavior, regardless of your feelings." He snorted his disgust.

"She doesn't deserve it."

"It's an order."

She sighed, pointing off the side of the bed. Alucard grumbled, but slid off the bed, kneeling by her side. She slid back down, staring up at the ceiling.

"…you will be compensated," she murmured.

"Compensated?" He repeated softly.

"Yes…compensated."

Integra did not use this card very often. Alucard was a slave and was expected to do as asked. Sometimes she used it as a reward for a job well done, but it was rare she put herself in such a position. She closed her eyes as she sent a very clear mental image to Alucard; of her sleeve rolled up, of her picking up a knife, of the knife resting above the blue vein so visible in her inner arm and finally cutting into herself, letting the blood run down her-

Alucard made a sound somewhere between a growl and a sigh. He understood the agreement.

"And an…advance?" He asked hopefully, practically begging.

"Not after the way you behaved tonight."

He reluctantly stood, bowing.

"Then sleep well, my master," he murmured before melting away into the shadows.

**III**

Breakfast the next day was… Strained. Integra made a mental note to thank Walter for seeing to Christiana's arrangements while she had been…neglectful. Christiana gave her a nervous glance before turning back to her oatmeal.

"How did you sleep?" Integra inquired.

"Rather well, thank you," she answered.

Integra sipped at her tea, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry for my behavior last night. It was childish."

"I honestly expected worse," she admitted.

Christiana took a bite. Integra nibbled at her toast.

Christiana cleared her throat.

"There's…one other thing I wanted to talk to you about," she said. Integra glanced over at her.

"Go on."

She met Integra's eyes, her lips trembling before she spoke.

"Your brother and sister are staying in a hotel right now in town…well, half brother and half sister. They'd very much like to meet you, and I'm really hoping you would."

**TBC**

I might be wrong, but the only things I remember about Alucard's imprisonment (in the manga, show, or OVA) are that he hasn't tasted blood in twenty years and Richard saying that the lower floor had been closed off for twenty years. Thus, loophole born of Alucard occasionally sneaking around. Maybe.

Bah, just review please.


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